Happyish Housemates
by netgirly2k
Summary: Modern AU in which Arthur, Merlin, Gwen and Morgana share a house and Morgana beats everyone at Guitar Hero.


Halfway through his first week at university Merlin woke up to find Arthur shoving all of Merlin's possessions into a binbag.

"Are you stealing things?"

"I'm packing," said Arthur. "You're moving in with me."

It was too early in the morning to argue with Arthur. Also, Arthur had just snatched Merlin's duvet away, so Merlin agreed. Perhaps there would be tea and a warm duvet at Arthur's house.

* * *

"Remind me why I have to live with you again?" Merlin asked, struggling to manhandle all his worldly possessions (at least the ones that he'd thought important enough to bring to the University of Camelot) through Arthur's front door.

"Because Uther would only buy us one house."

"Eh," said Merlin, whose folded mattress had sprung open and trapped him in the doorway.

"Look," said Arthur, "I am not spending three years of uni living in this house with no one to talk to in the mornings but Morgana. She is not a morning person."

"I'm glad to see you being realistic about your chances of getting girls to come back here. Hello, Merlin."

"Hello, Morgana," said Merlin, or tried to, his mattress was still suffocating him against the wall.

Arthur irritably pulled Merlin free. "I'm letting Merlin live here," he informed Morgana. "He begged, he says the halls of residence smell funny."

"I did not! You broke in to my room when I was asleep and started packing my-"

"Shut up, Merlin!"

* * *

"Gwen." Morgana smiled her most ingratiating smile. "Gwen."

Gwen looked up from her textbook. She always worried when Morgana tried to be ingratiating.

"How do you like sharing a flat with Sophia and Nimueh?"

"It's fine."

"Meaning it's awful, but that you're far too nice to ever say anything."

"It must be nice to know what everyone's thinking."

"It is. How would you like to come and stay with me this term?"

"I thought you were sharing a house with your step-brother."

"I am, and, uh, his friend, Merlin. Merlin's really nice."

"And Arthur?"

"Merlin's really nice."

* * *

Morgana helped Gwen carry her things in from the car.

Merlin smiled an awkward hello. He still wasn't sure how to deal with Morgana, as he was fairly sure Arthur hadn't consulted her prior to moving Merlin in.

"You shouldn't offer to help me," she said, depositing Gwen's bags on the coffee table, "because these aren't that heavy."

Merlin lurched to his feet, picked up the bags, looked around aimlessly then put them back down. Arthur didn't take his eyes off the television until Gwen came through the door with the rest of her bags. Then he couldn't get to his feet quickly enough.

"Yes, Arthur," teased Morgana, "there's a pretty girl in the house, try not to trip over anything. Gwen, this is Arthur and that's Merlin. Boys, this is my friend Gwen, she had rubbish flatmates this term so she's moving in here."

* * *

"Is this a lesbian thing?" Arthur asked the next morning, while he and Morgana were waiting for Merlin to come out of the bathroom so they could elbow each other for the next shower. "I've heard that's something lesbians do, move in together straight away."

"I'm bisexual."

Arthur stuck his fingers in his ears. "Stop saying bisexual, stop saying anything-sexual."

"You brought it up. Anyway if this is your less than subtle way of finding out if Gwen is available, then it's a waste of time. I forbid you to make a move on her."

"In that case," said Arthur, "I forbid you to shag Merlin."

The bathroom door opened and Merlin appeared wearing a towel, with damp hair sticking up every which way. "Did someone say my name?"

Morgana eyed him appraisingly, and Arthur used the momentary distraction to dart into the bathroom and close the door.

"Git," muttered Morgana.

* * *

There was a cooking rota. Notionally, at least, there was a cooking rota. Arthur couldn't cook, and he caused a terrible mess in the process of not cooking. Morgana did a marvellous line in ringing out for Chinese food. Merlin was an absolutely fabulous cook, as long as you only wanted cheese-on-toast.

Gwen had actually been taught to cook as child. But she refused to do it every night on the principle that she wasn't the mother of anyone in the house.

Anyway, they all liked cheese-on-toast. Or they did after eating almost nothing else for three months.

* * *

Similarly there was meant to be a cleaning rota. But in practice Gwen and Merlin did most of it.

"It's not their fault," said Merlin, as he and Gwen were cleaning one day. Arthur and Morgana were doing their version of cleaning, which seemed to consist entirely of moving dirt around the room. "If we'd been raised by nannies and cleaning ladies, we wouldn't have any idea how to clean either."

"We are not spoiled," said Arthur, who was a little sensitive on the subject.

"You said you thought that Uther should have bought two five bedroom houses in Camelot so you and Morgana didn't have to share."

In Arthur's defense, the house was much cleaner since Merlin had pointed out to him that leaving his dirty underwear lying around would quickly eliminate any chance he had with Gwen.

* * *

Arthur and Morgana did the shopping; they were the ones with Uther's credit card.

* * *

Then, before they knew it, exams were upon them. And they all dutifully relocated to the library. Arthur, after a quick detour to student admin to check which course he was on.

"Sports Science," Morgana sneered when he caught up with them. "How many exams are there for Sports Science?"

"Just as many as there are for-" Arthur tried and failed to read the title of Morgana's textbook upside down. He consoled himself with the knowledge that it would have been an extremely cutting put down if he'd been able to remember whatever stupid subject Morgana was studying.

* * *

After Arthur's last exam he decided they needed to celebrate, he decided they needed to celebrate with beer and Guitar Hero.

The others might have been more amenable if they didn't all still have exams to sit. Or if Arthur had been any good at Guitar Hero.

* * *

"My exams went fine," Merlin promised his mum over the phone as Arthur murdered _Hotel California_ on Guitar Hero and Gwen sang along using an empty beer bottle as a microphone.

"That noise? That's my, uh, housemates. No, they're not being cruel to a cat. Promise, mum, we don't even have a cat."

"We should get a cat!" Gwen declared tipsily as Morgana wrestled the guitar from Arthur.

"That's Gwen, Mum."

"Hello, Hunith!" Gwen called.

"Hello, Hunith!" Arthur and Morgana chorused. Morgana was now straddling Arthur on the couch and beating him about the head with the plastic guitar.

"Mum says hello to everyone," Merlin called over.

"Yes, mum, I'm sure I want to live here next term."


End file.
